Monday, November 15, 2004

i am really trying

I am really trying to stay through to the end of my contract, but, if there is another one of those CLOSE calls like last night, then I am "outtie." I will catch the next C-130 out of this God forsaken sandbox. I keep saying, "Another one of those and I am gone." That comment was never stated so seriously as it was last night. I felt the fear throughout my body, as we were only feet from where debris kicked up from the mortar. Dan had JUST finished his shower and was wiggling into some shorts on the floor before we jetted to the bunker.

Dan opted to sleep in the trailer, but I just couldn't. I packed a blanket and a pillow and high-tailed it to the Palace, where I temporarily found solace in the basement theatre. Unfortunately, I was booted an hour later by a KBR chic with an attitude (who wanted the theatre all to herself and her current beau for the night). "Ah, it's against policy for you to sleep in here." Yeah, sure, whatever, as she locked the theatre as I exited.

Back to the trailer I went. I slept on the floor, under the far side of the bed facing the sandbagged part of the trailer, with my kevlar as a blanket and my helmet guarding my head.

I woke this morning with a gnarly knot in the middle of my back and wrinkles sprawling across my face. Good Lord. What a night. sigh

Dan and I made a pact...I get to make the call when we call it quits. (Of course, I don't know if I feel a sense of relief or additional pressure by having this "power.") It is certain, though...I love that man.


At 11:10 PM, Blogger Larry said...

Nobody will think any less if you pull the plug. No bullshit, that place is dangerous, and you have every right to be scared- it would be totally irrational not to worry.

Keep your head down.

At 11:52 PM, Blogger Marisa said...

I agree with Larry! You guys are in my prayers of course!

At 7:08 AM, Blogger J W M said...

I may be able to take your place over there; but, Dan would not have as much fun.

Another image: when the trailers rockin', the mortars are droppin'

At 7:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you guys! oh, i feel for you. as larry said, no one will think anything if you come home- i wouldn't have made it this far. please be safe. jenn

At 8:39 AM, Blogger The Powell Clan said...

I love you ,Tara!
Kelly xoxoxo

At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My heart was beating faster and faster as I read your journal. Golly, I am scared for you! Whatever you decide to do there are a lot of people here that will be behind you 100% of the way. I love you Tara! You and Dan are in my thoughts and prayer. Sending big hugs, K xoxo

At 10:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Larry too! You are in our thoughts. Just follow your instinct, you will know when it is time. Take care and keep on writing. Brooke


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